A group of flat earth theorists have announced a massive multi-billion
dollar operation to send hundreds of volunteers to the “ice wall” surrounding the outer edge of the Earth, known to conventional thinkers as Antarctica. Their goal is to rescue approximately 180,000 penguins from 45 different colonies. Once captured, the penguins will be transported to the Arctic, where low temperatures simulate the conditions in their natural
habitat. The rescue mission was made possible by a successful GoFundMe campaign
and big donations from celebrities such as rapper B.o.B. and former Jets quarterback Reno Smith.
“Antarctica is very icy, so those poor penguins can slip off the edge and become extinct unless we do something”, says internet activist Allison
Simpson.
The mission has received heavy criticism from scientists who argue that the Arctic is not a suitable habitat for penguins due to fear that they will be eaten.
Many have questioned, “Why Earth would you do that?” (pun intended)
The Wet Beaver 